I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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