If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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