New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize