I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
