everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
