In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
