I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
