Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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