I wish my penis had an off switch
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
