yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
