if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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