she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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