wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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