Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
