Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
