I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
