About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
