He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
