either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
