I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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