She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
