we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Terrible idea I love it
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
