I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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