We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
