There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
