Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
