problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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