Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize