It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
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