i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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