I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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