I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize