White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
