Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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