i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
