Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she told me i tasted like america
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
