First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
