No awkward lesbian experiences without me
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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