I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
