so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize