it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
