weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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