Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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