they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
