she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize