hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
