So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize