Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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