$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This is classic penis vs brain.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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