that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
