Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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