So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
