Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
