sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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