what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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