Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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