Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
