it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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