508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
