Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
