Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You don't make any sense
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