so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
