OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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