brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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