don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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