So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
